A Fictional Companion?

Since I believe that napping should be taken as seriously as an Olympic sport, when I saw The Ten Year Nap by Meg Wolitzer on display at Magers & Quinn I immediately picked it up. I mean, Ten Years! Yikes. That would take commitment.

The book isn't about napping (which, arguably, would not make compelling fiction), but I think it might be a fictional companion to The Feminine Mistake by Leslie Bennets (which I wrote about here and here). Maybe not in terms of a straight line connection, but a circular dotted one (I have not read it yet, so I might be reading too much in to the book jacket).

I ended up buying Wolitzer's book, because it is described as a comedy with excellent timing. Though, I do have a disproportionate affinity for low brow humor (Ant Farm by Simon Rich, for example, that I wrote about here) so I am not sure this is going to work.

Anyway, funny is good. I hope this book is too.

Of Course The Main Character Is 29

I have always thought that being 29 made people a little crazy and, even, a little bit distasteful. The nicest 28 year old and the coolest 30 year old was probably a pain in the butt at 29.

Anyway, I heard about The Book of Dahlia by Elisa Albert on NPR this morning. I am interested because it is supposed to be funny (not as funny as Ant Farm by Simon Rich that I wrote about here), but I am not really buying what the write up is selling.

I would normally avoid any and all entertainment that involves someone suffering from cancer, but could be persuaded if it was done in such a way that was funny (which is, apparently, what this book does).

But, I just don't believe it can be truly funny and not annoying (mostly because the main character is 29).

I Never Really Liked Audio Books (even on an ipod)

I never really liked audio books, but now I have changed my mind. I recently went on a long haul road trip and listened to Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs: A Low Culture Manifesto by Chuck Klosterman on CD.

I loved it. Chuck is a brilliant satirist and listening to it in audio form (during a long haul road trip) was better than reading it, because I consumed it in a single “sitting”.

What Would Machiavelli Do?

Stanley Bing is the second reason that I buy Fortune magazine at the airport (the first depends on what is on the cover). Bing writes a column on the last page and (even if the entire magazine sucks that month) his column makes it worth the price of a latte that you have to pay for it.

What Would Machiavelli Do? by Stanley Bing, like the column, is super funny (100 Bullshit Jobs and How to Get Them is also funny). And, while Bing makes it clear (even insists) that you shouldn’t have to bother with reading the actual Prince by Niccolo Machiavelli, I started to give it a try (owned it for years).

Before I even got to the text itself, I took a detour. In the foreword to the version published by “Everyman’s Library” the author writes:

The aim is to extract from observed events those recurrent features that provide a basis for practical action. If, as Machiavelli claims, politics can be a science comparable to medicine, then history is its pathology. The decline and fall of the Roman state has always had an obsessive interest for commentators; it could be called the shaping myth of western political thought. (xiii)

Of course, after reading that, I got distracted by Are We Rome? The Fall of an Empire and the Fate of America by Cullen Murphy. The Prince will wait, I think, a few more years (back to the shelf with Sun Tzu and The Art of War).

Someone Make A Movie Based On This Book

Because they are so awful, some books should never become movies (The Man of My Dreams by Curtis Sittenfeld). Some books are great books, but are hosed up in the movie-making process (The Descent by Jeff Long). Then, there is that certain book that has “movie” written on every page (Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell).

Now, I fundamentally believe (as I said here) that graphic novels make the best movies, but I will have to make an exception. Company by Max Barry is a book just begging for a movie deal. Think Office Space meets The Firm. It would be hilarious, yet exiting and tempered with just the right amount of “romance”.

Ant Farm Claims Revisited

As it turns out (that phrase intended to reference part of The Salmon of Doubt by Douglas Adams), some people (i.e. Carter) have told me that the quote I selected here (to demonstrate my thoughts on Ant Farm by Simon Rich) is not that funny.

As a second try, I am including a link to Simon Rich’s mySpace page where he has published two outtakes from Ant Farm. I think that “I still remember the day I got my first calculator” is hysterical.

Since I was curious about what others thought and wanting to try the new Facebook poll, I posted a question yesterday. Seems only 3% agree that Ant Farm is the funniest book ever, but 20% responded that it is “quite possibly” the funniest book ever.

It is still a minority so I continue my search.

The Funniest Book Ever

A collection of vignettes called Ant Farm by Simon Rich is the funniest book ever. I know that is a big statement, but it is true.

You must arrange to come in to possession of this book, but you can’t read it yourself. You have to find someone to read it to you (and then switch off in all fairness), because it is not readable through the tears of hilarity.

I simply could not read this book to myself. It is that funny.

I chose this quote because it not only illustrates my point, but uses similar imagery.

Where are all the time travelers? They’re on Wall Street, smoking Cuban cigars and laughing so hard that tears are streaming down their fat faces. Meanwhile, we’re sitting around like morons, betting our money on random dogs and horses and talking about how smart Stephan Hawking is. (117)

Of course, if my endorsement is not enough, Jon Stewart is quoted as calling it (among other things) "hilarious".

This Book Is As Tight As A Pilates Instructor

Some books don’t wrap it up well (The Last Time They Met by Anita Shreve, Becoming Strangers by Louise Dean, A Certain Age by Tama Janowitz and many, many others) and they leave the divination to the book club.

The workplace novel Then We Came to the End by Joshua Ferris is the only book that I have ever read where the narrative is constructed so that one of the characters explains what the book is about to the reader (at the end of the book). The construct sort of works (and it is a surprise). Ultimately, it makes the book tight without a single loose end.

On the back cover it is called the “the Catch-22 of the business world”. I don’t think that is accurate. The book is mostly funny’ish, but mostly it is serious and only a little outlandish (but, here is the thing, not outlandish enough to be funny in a Joseph Heller sort of way).

I really did want to read a book about the workplace that would make me laugh so next up is Company by Max Berry.

Now, even though Ferris didn’t nail the humor throughout, one brilliant part of the book is that it is predominantly narrated by a collective “we” and that is cool and often funny.

Literally, almost all of the book is written in this voice:

Half the time we couldn’t remember three hours ago. Our memory in that place was not unlike that of goldfish. Goldfish who took a trip every night in a small clear bag of water and then returned in the morning to their bowl. What we recalled was that Karen didn’t let up on the story, day after day for an entire week, and when that week was over, we all had a better idea of Joe than we had gotten in his first three or four months. (63)

I like the collective “we” and was annoyed when he reverted perspective to the individual point of view. While I was reading it, I thought the author could have cut out the entire section titled “The Thing to Do and the Place to Be” (so boring it made my eyes bleed). But, then, at the end of book, one of the characters explains why it has to be there and I have to agree (I just don’t like it).

Citizen Vince

Citizen Vince by Jess Walter is outstanding.

It is a well-written mafia thriller chocked full of everything you would expect. It has the really bad criminal, the moderately bad criminal, the smart criminal, several really dumb criminals, John Gotti makes an appearance, a couple of okay people with darker desires, a dude, a lawyer in quotes and (of course!) the hooker with a heart of gold.

All of these characters fulfill what you would expect them to and it definitely delivers on the crime novel aspect, but with a twist.

The protagonist (Vince Camden) is in the witness protection program and finds himself able to vote for the first time in his life. So, all the crime thriller stuff happens with the backdrop of the 1980 Presidential campaign.

It is hilarious. As you might expect, Camden thinks (and takes it incredibly seriously throughout the entire novel):

Which of these stupid fucks are you supposed to vote for? (39)

Who hasn't thought that once or twice?

The downside of the book is that the bad guy is just a little too bad and the hooker with the heart of gold is a little too good, but I am able to get past that and enjoy the story.

My favorite line is the stated reason for why Vince only starts books (a habit he picks up after learning – in prison – that Great Expectations has more than one ending):

After all, a book can only end one of two ways: truthfully or artfully. (50)

What is the literary obsession with truth?

Next up, The Zero

PS - Citizen Vince ends artfully

Living Life in Reverse

This quote has been making the email rounds (I did a brief search and could not find the author. If anyone knows who wrote this, I would love to know):

I want to live my next life backwards.
You start out dead, and get that out of the way.
Then you wake up in an old age home, feeling better every day.
Then you get kicked out for being too healthy.
You enjoy your retirement and collect your pension.
Then, when you start to work, you get a gold watch on your first day.
You work 40 years until you're too young to work.
You get ready for high school, drink alcohol and party, and are generally very social.
Then, you go to primary school, become a kid, play and have no responsibilities.
Then you become a baby.
Then, you spend your last nine months floating peacefully in luxury in spa-like conditions, central heating, and room service on tap.
Then, you finish off as an orgasm.
I rest my case.

-Author Unknown-

It reminded me of one of the best books that I ever read: The Confessions of Max Tivoli: A Novel by Andrew Sean Greer. Max Tivoli is born as an old man and grows younger over time. On the surface it sounds totally absurd (kind of "you lost me at born an old man"), but Greer makes it work and the suspension of disbelief required is not as impossible as you might think.

While the context for the book is the biography of a man living in reverse, the book itself is really about unrequited love, loss, abandonment and loneliness. Max Tivoli is a creative classic.

Best Story Of A Book

Heavy Words Lightly Thrown: the Reasons Behind the Rhymes is an exceedingly funny and entertaining book that tells the history of some of the most common nursery rhymes (London Bridge, Jack and Jill, Humpty Dumpty etc.).

So, while I absolutely love this book, I like the tale behind it even more. It was written by a London-based tour guide who realized that (during his tours) the background on nursery rhymes was incredibly popular.

He set out to write a book and was forced through a variety of circumstances to self-publish. The book went global, attracted a publisher and is on the shelves (both virtual and otherwise) today.

It is every self-publishers dream, yes?